Today marks one month since Kelly went to Heaven. It still doesn't feel real and my guess is it probably never will. I've picked up the phone to call her a thousand times. It's amazing to me that it has already been a month, however even though it feels like time should have stopped, life continues to go on around us. 

Kelly's funeral weekend was so beautiful. She picked out the music for her funeral including two of her favorites by Audrey Assad, 'Restless' and 'Show Me'. 'Show Me' is a song she listened to sometimes multiple times a day throughout her cancer journey. It is a beautiful song about seeking God especially in our struggles and the darkest moments in our lives even when we may not feel like it. He gave his life so that we can have eternal life with him. Sometimes it's difficult to remember that, especially in the midst of our own suffering. Death isn't the end for us. That is something Kelly never forgot and always exemplified throughout her life. 

The two cantors, pianist and violinist who sang and played at her funeral also did the music at her wedding two years earlier. Fr. Robbie also presided at both her wedding and her funeral. We used a reading from her favorite book in the Bible, James (1:2-4,12), and everyone honored her request of wearing 'happy' colors. It was a beautiful celebration of her life. They are estimating somewhere around 2000 people came to the visitation, the line was wrapped around the church many times. Kelly's friends and family from as far away as Alaska, California and many other states made the trip. She was and is so well loved. We are thankful for everyone who came, as well as all the prayers from those who couldn't make it, but were there in spirit. We have received thousands of letters and cards and continue to receive more. We are grateful for every heartfelt word and sentiment. We miss our sweet Kelly more than words can describe and all of the sweet notes have helped to ease the pain even if just a little bit. 

Mother's Day was a particularly difficult day this year, especially for my mom. However, we are so close as a family and though I didn't know it was possible, Kelly brought us even closer together over the last year. We have each other to lean on as well as all of our incredible friends and extended family. We will continue to take it one day at a time and look forward to the day when we will see Kelly again. 

I've created a 'Memories of Kelly' page on Facebook. Please click this link (https://www.facebook.com/KellyNelsonGaffney/) and share any memories you have of Kelly. We know we have a saint in Heaven interceding for us daily. Please share any dreams, things that make you think of her, or miracles you experience, even little things. For example, my cousin has a lot of trouble sleeping and he slept through the night for the first time in a while the night after her funeral and he felt Kelly's presence through that. Alice and I saw a rainbow in the sky one day when it hadn't even rained all day. My mother-in-law experienced the same thing a couple of days ago - beautiful sunny day and there was a clear rainbow in one of the few clouds. Love these signs from Heaven that Kelly is doing ok and is still with us in spirit.

'Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.' - 1 Corrinthians 13:12


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2ZBCUQieUIhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2ZBCUQieUI

'Show Me' by Audrey Assad

You could plant me like a tree beside a river

You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild

And I would blossom like a flower in the desert

But for now just let me cry

You could raise me like a banner in the battle

Put victory like fire behind my shining eyes

And I would drift like falling snow over the embers

But for now just let me lie

Bind up these broken bones

Mercy bend and bring me back to life

But not before you show me how to die

Set me like a star before the morning

Like a sun that steals the darkness from a world asleep

And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me

But for now just let me be

Bind up these broken bones

Mercy bend and bring me back to life

But not before You show me how to die

No, not before You show me how to die

So let me go like a leaf upon the water

Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea

And I will disappear into a deeper beauty

But for now just stay with me

God, for now just stay with me