Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Funeral of Kelly Nelson Gaffney
St. Mary’s Catholic Church
April 24, 2017
Homilist: Father Robbie Favazza

     I was blessed to have a very gifted, eccentric Dominic priest who taught me homiletics at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary.  He taught me how to preach.  I have never forgotten one of the central lessons he taught us about preaching.  He reminded us that one of the central tasks of the preacher is to name grace in the community.  Today I would like to name how grace was operative in the life of Kelly Gaffney and hold it up so we can be grateful for it, contemplate it together, and imitate it in our lives. 

     The primary grace that Kelly’s life illuminates for us is perseverance.  Her mother Tricia told me that Kelly loved the first reading that was proclaimed today from St. James, “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

     Kelly Nelson Gaffney was an amazing athlete.  She was a fierce competitor who hated, and I mean hated, to lose.  Two of the sports that we enjoyed playing together were basketball and tennis.  Today is the only time that I will admit publicly that Kelly vanquished me numerous times in the game of HORSE.  I NEVER beat her at tennis.  She was too good.  

     Kelly’s tough as nails determination was exhibited to all of us during the past year while she battled ovarian cancer.  We all got behind Kelly 100 percent and prayed assiduously that she would kick cancer in the ovaries.  And she did!  Her first body was taken by cancer (I say first body because she’ll receive a new glorified body patterned after the Resurrected body of Jesus on the last day), but her courage, faith, hope, love, sense of humor, wit, and joy remained undiminished and even grew stronger and deeper through the ordeal because she abandoned herself to God so completely.   

     She can rightly say with St. Paul, “I have competed well.  I have finished the race.  I have kept the faith.  From now on the crown of righteousness awaits me, which the Lord, the just judge, will award to me on the last day.”  You did it girl!!

     Kelly persevered in love.  Taylor wrote on Kelly’s blog that her sister loved loyally and fiercely.  That is so true!

     Recently I was having lunch with Ted at the Nelson household.  He was fighting back tears as he shared with me the moving story of how Kelly ministered to her younger brother Patrick during his time of need.  Patrick was grief-stricken and heartbroken because he recently lost a very good friend.  Kelly consoled Patrick and expressed her concern for his safety even though she herself was suffering from cancer and knew death was eminent.  Now that’s compassion.

     I would like to share with you a personal testimony of Kelly’s love.  This past year I was going through a very difficult time in my life.  Kelly, and the entire Nelson family, surrounded me with unconditional love, care, support, prayer, and encouragement.  For a period of four months I talked to Kelly and Tricia on the phone and prayed the rosary with them every Tuesday and Friday.  Frequently the entire family would join us in prayer.  Kelly loved me like a sister, listened to me, encouraged me, and challenged me.  She was my inspiration.  I saw how Kelly showed up every day, carried her cross every day, prayed intensely every day, and remained steadfast in her commitment to recovery every day. I followed her lead and because of her I stand up here today as a priest preaching this homily.  I’m so grateful to her.

     Kelly persevered in her faith and hope in Divine Mercy.  Kelly and Tim deliberately chose to be married on Divine Mercy weekend two years ago.  Every year she posted a reflection from the Novena of Divine Mercy on her Facebook page.  She died on day 6th of the Divine Mercy Novena.

     We just heard from St. James, “Blessed is the man who perseveres in temptation, for when he has been proved he will receive the crown of life that he promised to those who love him.”  

     During Kelly’s final weeks she had a “thorn” that was making life very difficult for her.  I was preaching a homily at the Nelson household when a passage from St. Therese suddenly came to my mind.  In that excerpt St. Therese asks herself why St. Peter denied Jesus three times even though he made a promise prompted by generosity that he would never do such a thing.  Here is the answer from the Little Flower, “If, instead of saying, “I will give my life for you,” poor St. Peter had said to Christ, “You know only too well that I’m incapable of giving my life for you; help me,” he would have surely overcome that temptation.”  

     God was revealing to Kelly that she is powerless over her fear, her anxiety, her cancer, and her other struggles.  She cried out to Our Lord and Our Lady in prayer and said “Help me!”, particularly through the Holy Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet.  Kelly persevered in her faith and hope and obtained the Divine Mercy she loved and longed for.

     Kelly also persevered in her vocation.  In the movie Sound of Music, Maria is torn because she’s uncertain if she wants to be a nun or pursue the possibility of marriage with the captain.  The Reverend Mother tells her, “The love of a man and woman is holy, too.  Maria, you have a great capacity for love.  The question is, “How does God want you to spend your love?”  Or something like that.

     Kelly discerned her vocation and chose to spend her love in the Sacrament of Marriage with Tim.  Normally couples take one another’s hands and exchange their wedding vows.  Tim and Kelly chose to join their hands around a crucifix when they exchanged their wedding vows.  They said, “I take you to be my wife/husband.  I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.”  

     None of us knew, least of all Tim and Kelly, what lay in the future when they exchanged those vows.  They were convinced that only by keeping Christ at the center, remaining firmly rooted in Him, and turning their lives and wills over to Him could they weather the storms of life and remain faithful to one another.  I invite all young people who aspire to the vocation of marriage to learn from their example and place Christ at the center of their relationship.

     Kelly could not have persevered without the love and support of her family and friends.  The Nelsons aren’t the Brady Bunch.  They are a little messy.  They are far from perfect.  I know this from experience.  The Nelsons are like my second family.  Nevertheless, it can certainly be said of them what was said of the early Christians, “See how they love one another”.  

     Alice took off the semester from the University of Dallas so she could be with her beloved sister.  Taylor took a leave of absence from her job to be available 100 percent to Kelly.  During the final weeks Alice and Tricia slept on the bed beside Kelly while Taylor slept on another bed off to the side.  Ted, Patrick-don’t forget Tim and Sam- were those few good men dedicated to serving Kelly.

     And then there’s Tricia.  Anybody who knows Tricia knows she has true devotion to Mary.  That is obvious when you walk into the house.  Mary is everywhere and Tricia is always praying the rosary.  Her entire life is one continuous prayer.  The highest form of devotion is imitation.  As her Divine Son was hanging on the cross Mary was at her station keeping.  As Kelly battled cancer you better believe her mother Tricia was at her station keeping too.  She prayed unceasingly for Kelly, loved her untiringly, encouraged her unfailingly, fasted for her, dieted with her, accompanied her, transported her from place to place, and even made a fool of herself for her (ask the family about it).  She did anything and everything to keep Kelly’s spirits up and fighting the good fight to the very end.  Faith Hill sings, “You better respect yo mama, respect the hell out of her”.  I for one respect the hell out of that mama!

     St. Therese once said, “If Jesus allows us to suffer on earth it is only because He already sees us in the glory of eternity”. The Lord already saw Kelly in the glory of eternity.   
     The other day I was talking with Tricia and I told her Kelly was my sister, friend, and spiritual companion.  Thanks to the communion of saints she still is.  We all invoked the intercession of the saints for Kelly’s healing: St. Charbel, Fulton Sheen, St. John Paul II, St. Mother Teresa, St. Therese, etc. Well, now she’s with them!  St. Therese said she would spend her heaven doing good on earth.  I bet that is how Kelly will spend her eternity.  Maybe her mission really is to be a mother to unwanted children in heaven.

     One of Kelly’s favorite songs was “Show Me” by Audrey Assad.  The refrain goes like this, “Bind up these broken bones.  Mercy bend and breathe me back to life.  But not before you show me how to die. No not before you show me how to die.”  He showed you how to live and die Kelly.  Mercy bent, breathed upon you, and carried you into eternal life.  Those bones will be bound up, Kelly, and you will be more radiant and beautiful than you were on your wedding day.  We love you, Kelly.  Amen.  





  










   


Friday, April 21, 2017

In celebration of Kelly's life, she requested we wear something happy to her funeral. She would prefer no black. If you do wear black, please wear something colorful like a tie or scarf etc. Kelly had the most beautiful spirit and was an artist at heart. Nothing would make her smile bigger from Heaven than to see us rejoicing in the life we shared with her, while she was here on Earth, by honoring her final request. 


Funeral arrangements:
Visitation, Sunday, April 23rd from 5:00pm to 8:30pm at St. Mary's Church in Jackson, TN. (Rosary beginning at 5)
Mass of Christian burial, Monday, April 24th at 11:00am at St. Mary's. Lunch immediately after in Fellowship Hall. Committal to follow lunch.

Obituary: 
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jacksonsun/obituary.aspx?n=kelly-nelson-gaffney&pid=185154464&


WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

When tomorrow starts without me
And I’m not here to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry 
The Way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We did not get to say

I know how much you love me
As much as I love you
Each time that you think of me
I know you will miss me too

When tomorrow starts with out me
Please try to understand
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand

The angel said my place was ready
In heaven far above
And That I would have to leave behind
All those I Dearly Love

But When I walked through Heaven’s Gates
I felt so much at home
When GOD looked down and smiled at me 
From his golden throne

He said This Is Eternity
And All I promised you
Today for life on earth is done
But Here it starts a new

I promise no tomorrow 
For today will always last
And Since each day’s the exact same way
There is no longing for the past

So When Tomorrow starts without me
Do not think we’re apart
For every time you think of me 
Remember I’m right here in your heart

~ David M Romano 


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

My sister, my hero, my best friend forever. Heartbroken doesn't begin to describe this feeling. Kelly died in her sleep last night just after midnight. She has suffered for so long and is finally at peace. She was surrounded by Tim and all of us, her immediate family. Today is day 6 of the Divine Mercy novena. The intention for today is for meek and humble souls and could not be a more perfect description of Kelly:

"Today bring to Me THE MEEK AND HUMBLE SOULS AND THE SOULS OF LITTLE CHILDREN, and immerse them in My mercy. These souls most closely resemble My Heart. They strengthened Me during My bitter agony. I saw them as earthly Angels, who will keep vigil at My altars. I pour out upon them whole torrents of grace. Only the humble soul is capable of receiving My grace. I favor humble souls with My confidence."

This Sunday is Divine Mercy Sunday and as Fr. Robbie reminded us on Monday, Kelly so loved Divine Mercy Sunday (always the Sunday after Easter) and this time of year. Kelly and Tim were married on Divine Mercy weekend 2 years ago. She has been praying this annual novena for years, it's such a fitting time for her to be born into everlasting life.

We have had so many signs and miracles from Heaven in the past year and especially in the days and weeks leading up to today. In the past two days, we have had 3 priests, Fr Robbie, Fr David and Fr Richard, and the chaplain from Caris, Garrett, visit Kelly. She received Anointing of the Sick and Communion hours before she died and we have zero doubt she is in Heaven. Mom has been reading The Story of a Soul, St Therese's book, to Kelly over the past few months. St Therese talks of her "Little way" in striving for sainthood throughout her life. She says in the end of her book that she will live out her days in Heaven bringing souls to God and will shower flowers on earth, particularly roses to let you know of her presence. Yesterday morning, mom finished the book and throughout the day Kelly received the most beautiful delivery of garden roses and a prayer shawl from Garrett, the Caris chaplain, covered in roses. This is just one example of the many reassurances we've received that Kelly would be celebrating in Heaven soon. 

She wasn't a bit worried about dying, she knew she was going home to be with her Heavenly Father. The only thing she worried about was leaving us behind, always thinking of others. Kelly was the kindest most thoughtful person I've ever met. She always had a smile on her face. She couldn't stand for anyone to be upset with her and would do everything within her power to make a situation right; always the mediator among friends and family. She loved fiercely and completely. It is a privilege to call her my sister.

In the last 5 weeks of her life on hospice care, she had the most wonderful nurse and nurse aid, Leigh and Dineshia, who have become family. We could not have asked for a better hospice team in Caris. They took care of her and all of us and truly loved Kelly like family. Alice took this semester off school, and I was able to take a leave of absence from work, so our whole family was able to be together for her final days. The memories we've shared over the past 5 weeks I will cherish forever. In the 28 1/2 short years Kelly lived in this world she touched countless lives. Her witness and devotion to God and family will be her legacy.

In the weeks preceding her death, three separate people shared a common dream of Kelly surrounded by babies in Heaven. One relayed that in her dream, Kelly was presented to Jesus on His thrown. Jesus then began presenting her with babies and little children. She shared that Jesus was calling her home to be the mother of all the 'unwanted' children in Heaven. Something she so desperately wanted in life was to be a mother. When Kelly heard about these dreams, her immediate response to mom was, "Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever heard? Think of all the grandchildren you're going to have."

Sweet Kelly, I know you're dancing with Jesus and the angels, but I selfishly miss you so much and want to keep you here. I'm so thankful you aren't suffering any longer. I can't imagine how we will make it through life without you, except to remember we will be reunited with you again one day. Until then, I love you so much dear sissy and miss you every second.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." - 2 Timothy 4:7

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12


'I can't believe that you're really gone now
Seems like it's all just a dream
How can it be that the world will go on
When something has died within me?

Leaves will turn, my heart will burn with colors of you
Snow will fall but I'll recall your warmth
Summer wind breathing in your memory
I'll miss you

But there will be a time when I'll see your face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now

I can't imagine my life without you
You've held a place all your own
Just knowing you were beneath the same sky
Oh, what a joy I have known

On rainy days, in many ways, you'll water my heart
On starry nights I'll glimpse the light of your smile
Never far from my heart you'll stay with me
So I'll wait

'Cause there will be a time when I'll see your face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now

But there will be a time when I'll see that face
And I'll hear your voice and there we will laugh again
And there will come a day when I'll hold you close
No more tears to cry 'cause we'll have forever
But I'll say goodbye for now
But I'll say goodbye for now
- Kathy Troccoli, "Goodbye for now"



Roses and rose prayer shawl Kelly received yesterday







Fr David gave Kelly the Easter candle from last year, the Year of Mercy





















Wednesday, April 12, 2017

We have had many visitors over the past two weeks, including family and friends from as far away as California. Yesterday Kelly and Tim celebrated their second anniversary with Mass and renewal of their vows. It was a somber service but one reminiscent of that beautiful, joyous, spiritual day two years ago. They have truly lived out their vows and have seen much joy and a lifetime of suffering in such a short time. May God's grace continue to be upon them, and us all as we continue to implore God for a healing miracle this Holy Week before Easter. She continues to handle her suffering with such grace and dignity and I admire her so much. Thank you for your continued prayers. We also want to thank all of you "Kelly's Cooks" who have been keeping us well fed over the past month and beyond, as well as all of the cards, flowers and more for Kelly. You all mean so much to our family, and the kindness and generosity we have been shown over the past 13 months will never be forgotten. 


Beautifully decorated cookies from Mrs. Jackie



with Fr. Richard and Fr. David




with Dee after her bath

Mom reading to Kelly from the Bible

with Patrick (brother)

Beautiful rainbow over our house

with Andrea

with Dr. Ly, who has been so sweet to make home visits for acupuncture


our cousin Richard flew in from California

Richard and his brother, Thomas, and dad, Steve from Nashville


artwork from our California cousins

Kelly's best friends, Kate and Joirdan, from Texas

with friends, Mrs. Kathy and Mrs. Jane

Patrick built Kelly a ramp

Mom, and two aunts, Barbara and Susan

with our cousin Christopher


Alice giving Kelly a new hair do

Sam and Tim helping Kelly outside





Family pic with Alice's boyfriend, Avery

Dee painting Kelly's nails during her "spa day"

Spa day crew Dee, Cali and Ashley

with Andrea and Edward






with cousins, Chuck and Drew from middle Tennessee


with Kelly's sweet nurse Leigh

Renewal of Kelly and Tim's vows


with Dr. Gray,




Wedding Day pictures from 2 years ago yesterday: 






with friend, Kim Capelle from South Carolina


Another picture of the rainbow from a couple weeks ago